


Superhero Smorgasbord

by Jotun_in_my_mind



Category: Avengers, Marvel
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 07:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15903861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jotun_in_my_mind/pseuds/Jotun_in_my_mind
Summary: You are a young human woman with amazing fighting skills but not equal to the Black Widow.  You have been a Shield agent for several years but have only been a part of the Avengers team for a couple of months.  Because you are slightly less threatening than Natasha the guys have been making fools of themselves trying to score with you but without success.  You, however, are slowly getting more frustrated and horny being surrounded by so many gorgeous single and equally horny men. Maybe you need to make a choice.





	Superhero Smorgasbord

"So Renae" Sam practically crooned, "do you like chocolate?". He raised one eyebrow as he sipped his coffee and made a point of slowly licking his lips. Across the kitchen table Bucky snorted into his morning brew, sending a mist of coffee bursting across towards where Natasha and Clint were concentrating on a sudoku puzzle. Simultaneously they threw up their hands, too late to fend off the caffeinated moisture that peppered their faces, and glared at Bucky. He had tears streaming from his eyes as he attempted to regain his composure and catch his breath after almost choking on his coffee. 

Nat sighed and looked over at Sam who was still trying to drink his coffee in a mildly pornographic way while not letting his eyes leave yours. "Oh my god Wilson, is that the best line you have?" She looked pityingly at him "it's a wonder you ever get laid at all. Even Clint is smoother than that!" She snorted a little laugh and turned back to the slightly damp sudoku.

"Hey!" Clint interjected. "Whatever I said was enough to get into YOUR catsuit. It can't have been that bad!" His lower lip actually pouted a bit.  
Patting him on the shoulder Nat leaned in close to his ear and used her husky voice which she knew drove him wild "It wasn't what you said sweetheart, I just have a thing for archers" she flicked her tongue over his lobe before flouncing off to the kitchen to renew her coffee.

You looked across at Sam who was still eyeing you like a tasty treat. So very pathetic but nothing you couldn't handle. You used your free hand to trace the collar of your button-up v-neck shirt down towards your cleavage. "I LOVE chocolate. So smooth. So rich. So satisfying." You spoke slowly and bit your bottom lip briefly while you winked at him, "But not the type you're selling Wilson". 

Tearing his eyes away from your fingers Sam swallowed audibly and sighed "Dammit girl you making me crazy."  
Behind you someone laughed "You were crazy LONG before you met Renae, don't you dare blame your mental failings on her innocent ass" Tony pointed accusingly at Sam as he walked briskly into the room and opened the fridge in search of refreshment. "Your ass IS innocent isn't it Renae?" He spoke with his head still buried within the appliance.

"That's classified information Stark and you don't have the authority to access it" you smirked at him as he resurfaced. He raised his glass in salute to your innuendo and drank deeply from his juice. "Nicely answered" he nodded, "But pray tell who DOES have authority?" He fixed you with an intense gaze. Again he drank, without looking away, and you felt the rest of the room turn their attention towards your conversation. "Come on Agent, spill" he prodded.

"No man, mortal or otherwise, is currently permitted to access my ass or any other juicy bits of my anatomy" you stated confidently "and if I get frustrated I can always turn to Bob. He never lets me down". You flicked your eyes over to Natasha but her spy mask hid any reaction to your statement.

Thor had been amused watching your conversation but now he was intrigued. "Lady Renae who is this Bob and why do I not know of him? Is he a suitable man to be your companion?" He leaned forwards eagerly awaiting your answer but Natasha answered for you. 

"Bob is not a man, Thor, just a uh toy that can be used to relieve frustration" she was barely keeping her laughter in check as she took in his confused face. "Bob stands for Battery Operated Boyfriend." She began giggling as his brows became more and more furrowed, then his face broke into a delighted grin.  
"Of course!" his voice boomed, "Stark has showed me some films which depicted their use I think". He grinned widely and nodded towards you as if in approval. 

Nat shot Tony an angry glare but then shrugged, figuring that Thor was much older than all of them put together so who was she to advise if he should watch porn or not. Tony just grinned and poured himself a real drink, even though it was only 9.30am. It was drinking time somewhere. 

Sam, however, just couldn't let it go. "But SERIOUSLY Renae" he sounded almost desperate "HOW can you NOT enjoy at least some of this prime beef that surrounds you?" He gestured around the room at the assembled superheroes. "It's like a smorgasbord for the ladies, just choose your flavour". That was it for Nat, she could handle this stupidity no longer, and she walked laughing out of the room. Clint watched her go and considered following, but this conversation was the best entertainment there had been in some time and he wasn't going to miss it. He got up and poured another coffee and resumed his position at the table.

Tony refilled his glass and spoke thoughtfully "No honestly, Renae, if we are going to find you a regular booty call, we need to know what you look for in a partner. Get some guidelines you know?" You could see his scientific brain trying to figure out a foolproof way to determine your ideal man. 

Sighing you held up your hands in defeat. "OK Stark, just HOW do we figure THAT out?"

"Easy, we do a line-up and see who is the last man standing" he crowed raising his glass to the ceiling. "Then we will know what you are into" he winked and smirked.

"Oh you WISH" you smirked back. You could play at this too and it might be fun to see how they each reacted to being scrutinised up close. You breathed deeply and had to hold in a low moan. Oh yes, real close, and this was your opportunity to get closer than ever before. There were some gorgeous men here, no doubt about that, but there were two that truly made your knees weak and your face flush. They were just walking sex, exuding testosterone in waves, and you might just have a chance to touch an arm, a shoulder, a thigh....Unnffff. Stop thinking like that or you'll get in real trouble girl, and you might miss your chance.

"OK Tony, line 'em up for me to knock them down" you moved across to a single recliner and sat leisurely to await the show.

Sam, Clint and Bucky almost knocked over their chairs in their rush to stand before you. Thor was actually flexing as he walked to join them. Tony made a point of brushing your shoulder with his hip and then flexing his butt as he passed. Steve cleared his throat and joined them standing impossibly straight and tall. "Come on reindeer games" Tony called in a playful voice. "You are staying in this tower to participate in team activities and I believe this qualifies. Get your moody ass over here with the rest of us virile men".

You could hear a snort from the recliner in the far corner and watched as Loki waved his hand and a clone appeared next to Tony who emitted a startled squeak. "My likeness will be sufficient" he spoke smoothly hardly looking up from his book, but you could swear that his eyes were actually watching rather carefully what was transpiring before him. You could work with this. Slowly standing you walked towards the line of men, exaggerating the sway of your hips as you got closer. You eyed them all closely then walked around behind them to appreciate the rear view. Very nice. Very very nice. A smile crept onto your face "Am I allowed to touch the merchandise?" You almost purred. "To assess quality".

"AHHH Yeah, I guess so" Tony sounded a little unsure. Maybe he was concerned about how he would compare with the others. You reached out and grabbed his butt with both hands and kneaded gently. "Hmmm. Not bad Stark" you said "But not as firm as this" you ran your hands over Bucky's rock hard ass. "Wow" you breathed into his ear, earning a small groan in return. You walked back along the line and smacked Steve's ass. Yup. Granite. This was going to be quite enjoyable indeed.


End file.
